To be ‘successful’ | Sadia Ahmed

The Oxford Dictionary defines success as ‘the accomplishment of an aim or purpose’, however it also cites a secondary meaning: ‘the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status’. It comes as little surprise that the latter is such a widely accepted definition of the term, especially in an increasingly consumerist, fame-obsessed society like ours. None of us are immune to the desire to be successful, whether we want to succeed at school, or at being better siblings to petulant little brats, or at being more ‘healthy’. Ultimately, the precise definition of success is subjective; it varies considerably from person to person.

We tend to see some goals (such as drinking more water, or smiling at more people more often) as ‘small’ goals, conducive to smaller degrees of success, and we see other goals as ‘big’ goals- long-term and universally sought after, like big houses, nice cars, marriage (although the desirability of this particular institution is gradually declining in many countries), and luxury lifestyles- things that are quantifiable, and visible to onlookers. The concept of and obsession with success is what keeps us glued to our seats, completing schoolwork. It fuels us with the motivation to endure the struggles of the present, with the distant promise of a better future.

Moreover, our collective ideas about success typically rely on comparing ourselves to others. Everlasting happiness is downright impossible for creatures like us that are so sensitive to suffering and stimulants of sorrow, and (believe it or not) even wealthy and accomplished individuals are susceptible to feelings of emptiness, loneliness, boredom and dissatisfaction. Yet, despite this well-known fact, we somehow manage to convince ourselves that others have it better than us- that the paper in their pockets, the red encircled letters on their test papers, the number of ‘likes’ on their Instagram posts (and so on) must mean that they are, on the whole, very content, and hence very successful.

Physical emblems of success are necessary because ‘smaller’ and more personal goals are less visible. On the other hand, items like cars and flashy jewellery can be observed and compared. Such items allow us to ostensibly quantify, and consequently compare, levels of success. But such methods of measuring how successful an individual is are futile. He or she can have a dozen Ferraris, a private jet, a PhD from Cambridge and more, but they might still be miserable. Psychological research has found that overall contentedness is less dependent on material possessions and wealth, and more reliant on gratefulness- in making the most out of one’s current circumstances. This is why we often hear about dissatisfied and depressed celebrities, lottery-winners, and billionaires.

To me, success is less about accumulating wealth or earning the admiration or envy of my peers. Rather, it is about waking up every morning feeling optimistic and excited for the day ahead (although I wholeheartedly accept that some mornings will simply be dreadful without good reason). True success, in my opinion, is about self-betterment, and days that consist of little joys, challenges, intellectual stimulation, and, most importantly, gratefulness.

Many young people nowadays seem to be morphing into wolves, hungry for ‘success’, continuously ‘on the grind’, preparing for the ruthless world of business and corporate progression. They argue that success, amongst other things, is the best form of revenge, and choose to focus more on pursuing success (in others’ eyes) than on appreciating each passing moment. They are watching the sands of time disappear from beneath their feet, with their minds fixed firmly on the future.

Everybody wants the best out of life; everybody wants to be ‘successful’, but the definition of this term depends entirely on what you want out of life. Do you want comfort or do you want adventure? Do you want security, or do you want a life full of taking risks?

Some ‘successful’ individuals are not truly successful, in that they have failed to undergo the self-introspection necessary to determine what their criteria for success are. Instead, many of these people yearn for and chase external validation, but the unfortunate truth is, if you rely on outside validation as your main source of nourishment, you will hunger for the rest of your life.

So be brave. This is about your own happiness, your own expectations, and your own interpretation of success- the one you want to dedicate your time and energy to. It is worth working towards deciding on what success looks like to you, and when it finally becomes clear to you, embrace it, pursue it, and

redefine the term if you have to.